Maybe or Maybe Not: Tips for Tolerating Uncertainty

If you’re already working with a trained OCD therapist, you’ve probably heard them say “maybe, or maybe not” about a hundred times. If you’re new to OCD and anxiety recovery, get ready to make it your new favorite saying. The OCD brain craves and feeds off certainty. Now let’s talk about how to starve it. After all, if we stop giving it what it wants, it becomes weaker, and therefore less powerful over our lives. 

Stop Trying to Figure Everything Out 

For those who struggle with anxiety or OCD, you know the struggle: ruminating for sometimes hours to try and find an answer to a question that may not even have an answer. This might look like mentally reviewing situations over and over, searching the internet, or seeking out reassurance. Will I embarrass myself in front of the whole class? Did I just touch something that was contaminated with germs? Maybe, maybe not. There is no way to know for sure, but you can handle it either way. As you may have learned, rumination often leaves you with even more questions than you started with and takes you away from living the life you want to live.

Accept that Nothing in Life is 100% Certain 

It’s a fact of life. Unless you have a crystal ball (if you do, please tell me where I can get one) you can never have complete certainty or know exactly how something will play out in the future. You might ask, well how do I just accept that? It takes practice and sometimes a lot of convincing. That leads to the next tip. 

Tune into Your Values 

To be able to accept uncertainty, it’s important to convince yourself why it’s worth it to take these “chances.” What is your why? Maybe it’s because you value freedom and independence, or you value time with family and friends, or your career is important to you.

Practice Mindfulness 

To bring you back to the present moment, practice mindfulness skills. Most of the time, what you’re worried about is either something that could potentially happen in the future, or something that has already happened in the past. Many of the “stories” that OCD tells us (i.e. – I must say I love you to my partner 3 times or something bad might happen to them) are not based in reality, although they can feel convincing. Compulsions are a trick to make you feel like you have certainty. Try using your senses to help ground yourself back to the here and now. 

Trust Yourself

You’ve dealt with every uncertain situation that has been thrown your way thus far. You’re stronger than you think and can handle whatever the outcome may be.