Is This Real Life? Understanding Derealization and Depersonalization (DPDR)

Have you ever felt like you were living in a dream or like you were looking at yourself from outside of your body? Derealization and/or depersonalization are commonly experienced during panic attacks or as a result of trauma. Although the sensations often cause people to worry about “losing their mind,” the mechanism is actually a way the brain tries to protect you from upsetting experiences.

As discussed by the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of depersonalization may include:

• Feelings that you are seeing your thoughts, feelings, or body from the outside.
• Feeling like a robot or feeling like you are not in control of what you say or how you move.
• The sense that your body, legs, or arms appear twisted or like they are not the right shape.
• Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you.
• A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories.

Symptoms of derealization may include:

• Feeling that people and your surroundings are not real, like you are living in a movie or a dream.
• Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about, as if you were separated by a glass wall.
• Surroundings that appear out of their usual shape, are blurry, two-dimensional, or flat.
• Thoughts about time that are not real, such as recent events feeling like the distant past.

When it comes to DPDR from panic and anxiety, the problem is often rooted in your reaction to the sensation, not the feeling itself. Grounding techniques are often the first thing that may be recommended to you. While they can be helpful for some, if you are afraid of these feelings, I challenge you to do nothing. Acknowledge the feeling and get back to what you are doing.

Doing nothing = learning safety.

If you are constantly trying to make yourself feel “real” again, you may ultimately reinforce the fear. And what does the fear cause? More feelings of unreality. You can easily get yourself caught up in a vicious cycle. Although it feels scary and uncomfortable, remember, it is just your brain trying to protect you. The goal is not to avoid feeling this way, but to be able to live your life despite it.

If you want to practice reacting differently, you can try to induce the feeling of derealization or depersonalization by doing things like looking at an optical illusion or staring at yourself in the mirror for long periods of time.

Aside from being a panic symptom, depersonalization-derealization disorder is also a mental health diagnosis that may be considered if these feelings occur frequently, never fully go away, and make it difficult for you to function.

Next time you feel “unreal,” use it as an opportunity to learn safety. Give your brain some credit. It would not try to protect you with a response that was dangerous.